Yesterday wasn't too horrible. Just the regular stuff. I did have a moment of "did you really just say that to me????" My husband came home from work for a bit and I told him I was about to nap. His reply was "it must be nice to be able to nap during the day" Really? Usually I just blow this sort of comment off, because I know he does most of the work around the house since I've been so sick and miserable. But I snapped and started to cry and told him that I'd do all the house work and he could have the Crohn's disease. He could have the constant diarrhea, the pain, the inability to focus on stuff, the exhaustion, the injecting medication twice a week, and by then I was in hysterical tears. He apologized.
Today was the day my disability decided I'd be able to go back to work. I wish I felt that good. Instead I spent a great deal of time yesterday and today on the phone with medical records and the pharmacy and my doctor's office. I got the process underway to extend my disability. I hope this isn't too difficult. And last week, I called in a refill for my "meth shot" but it turned out I didn't have any refills left, so they offered to call my doctor's office. This morning I was supposed to take my shot. I called Target this morning to see if they had it ready for me, and they said the doctor hadn't returned the call. So I left a message at the doctor's office to call in the refill. I also need more pain pills. Even though these don't always help, maybe they do and I just don't realize it (like if I didn't take them, the pain would be even worse). I called the pharmacy and they said they didn't have any in stock. When I was on the phone with the doctor's office later, they said there was a shortage of Methotrexate right now. I googled it, and yup. It seems like a lot of sterile injectibles are experiencing shortages now due to the problems of keeping sterile.
Since I didn't go to Target, I called my husband and asked him to take my son out to dinner. The house is a wreck right now, and there is hardly any food here, either. I wish I could have a person come and clean for me.
On another note, my son has started asking us to adopt a sibling for him. He doesn't want us to adopt a baby, but an older kid, around 3 or 4. He even told me we should contact Ramsey County Social Services, because lots of kids don't have parents, and he feels that he wants a sibling. When I asked him why, he said he doesn't want to be the only child in the family. He feels alone sometimes. It doesn't help that every other kid at school except one has at least one sibling. It makes me sad, because we tried for a couple of years to have another child, and it didn't work out. And then when we gave up on it, I got pregnant about 2 and a half years ago, but then had a miscarriage.
Nothing like your own child to give you a bunch of guilt!
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